An Auto-Interview With Chris Desatoff

Hey.

I’ve been on HubPages for about 2 ½ years now (formerly known as chrisinhawaii). I went away for a while to just focus on my own blogs and niche sites, but then I sorta came back and started going at it again. On again, off again.

I’ve gained some great friends through the HubPages community, folks who I continued to interact with on other sites and blogs after going on hiatus. Through our mini conversations on blogs and social media, we've caught glimpses of each other's personality, character, and life stories, yet, I don't think I ever really did one of those “all about me” types of hubs.

I guess now is the time.

Yep.

And...

AaAnNdD...

I'm not crazy.

They have auto-biographies, right? And that’s not weird or anything. So why not do a kind of auto-interview where I ask myself some questions? That’s like…totally normal and in no way implies that I spend way too much time by myself in front of my laptop.

Actually, another writer here on HubPages – Jennifer Arnett (aka Availiasvision) -- suggested these self-interviews as a writing prompt, as a way to introduce ourselves (or re-introduce ourselves) to other hubbers and build our community. Here’s her original challenge hub here:

Interview Yourself: A Writer's Challenge

It sounded like a pretty fun idea to me, so here I am.

So in her writers challenge, Jennifer talked about a show called Actor’s Studio where successful actors are brought in to do an interview, and the host of the show always asks each guest the exact same interview questions. I’ve included those questions first.

But then Jennifer added in some unique questions of her own, so I’ve also answered those in the “Challenging Questions” section further down.

I hope you enjoy my totally-not-weird little self-interview! =)

Feel free to join me in the comments section way down at the bottom for a few snacks and refreshments afterwards.

That’s what people do after interviews, right? Well, I’ll be there anyway, munching on Cheez-Its…

What is your favorite word?

“EXCELSIOR!”

Old-time Marvel Comics boss man Stan Lee always ended his letters pages with “Excelsior!” as his signature/tagline. It’s odd, since I never in my life used that word. But that’s what came to mind as a favorite word =)

What is your least favorite word?

Any racial, gender, religious, sexual, or other slur intentionally used with contempt. So the words themselves don’t actually offend me; hell, sometimes they make great punchlines when used in good humor. It’s more about the context and intention with which they’re used.

Some folks will always find certain words to be offensive. But bitch, please…sometimes slurs are funny to me. =)

Just depends how they’re being used.

What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?

Sex. =P

What turns you off creatively, spiritually or emotionally?

Haters, especially the know-it-all types who look down their noses at you and smile while insulting you and then act shocked when you get upset. These are the kinds of trolls that really make my blood boil. And every time that I exchange words with one of them, I always end up regretting it.

It’s pointless.

So then I swear to myself that I will not waste any more of my precious time and energy on people like that ever again.

But then I do it again.

Grrrr…

What sound or noise do you love?

The free radio station Jazz Chill on iTunes Radio. Every song they play makes me feel groovy, baby.

What sound or noise do you hate?

Bug noises.

Especially bugs that make buzzy sounds.

Any bugs that make buzzy sounds creep me out.

Crickets I can handle, but bumblebees and stuff like that…shejE{lcepfxxxlll-blechh…

I feel icky just typing about it.

What is your favorite curse word?

Bitch, please. Do you even have to ask?

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

Well, I’m still attempting my own profession haha, but besides writing and art I always thought it would be pretty cool to be a bodybuilder. Most people think big, veiny muscles are gross, but I always wanted to get me some 20-inch cannons.

What profession would you not like to do?

Cop or soldier.

No matter how well you do your job, no matter how high your level of honesty, integrity and selflessness…some of the very people you have sworn to protect are gonna judge you and hate you and spit on you.

Plus, death is lurking around every corner.

I don’t really like jobs where death is lurking around every corner.

If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?

“Hey Chris, I was just kidding about all that HELL stuff. Look…everybody’s up here! EVERYBODY!”

In the film version of your autobiography, who would you like to play yourself?

Steve Harvey, because apparently my wife thinks Steve Harvey is the coolest, smartest, sexiest man on the planet.

What quality or talent do you wish you could cultivate?

The ability to walk right past a fresh, hot, deep dish pizza without even touching it.

Who is your favorite fictional character ever?

Captain Jack Sparrow. Savvy?

If you could have the career of any author, who would it be?

I don’t really follow along with author’s careers, so I have no clue who to name. But if there’s a writer out there who actually makes enough money to pay his bills without being a sellout, then I’d like to have that guy’s career.

What inspires you?

People who are awesome but are too humble and real to even know it.

When did you first realize you were a writer?

I still don’t think of myself as a writer. I mean, I write stuff, and I even make some money at it, but no matter what anybody says, I still feel weird calling myself a writer.

Thanks to writer Bill Holland (aka billybuc) for participating in this writing challenge and writing his own self-interview. That's how I found out about it.